Even better than an animated musical about dinosaurs, Beast Duels is back!
I've gotten thousands of emails asking me where I've been since December. Have I been off making a healthy living? Good god, no. Have I been out bettering society?
You betcha.
I've just returned from a seven month excursion-- nay-- extravaganza! I traveled around the world, to all twelve continents on the first ever Beast Duels World Tour (BDWT). I've seen beast duels that no other humans in recent or remote memory have seen.
I went to Antarctica and saw five penguins battle a dolphin (victory: dolphin). I went to Shanghai to see a cat take on a lobster (victory: one very bloody kitty). I even went to the savanna to watch three young lion cubs take on a hyena (victory: not applicable, sadly. Beast duels on the great plains have proven to be one disemboweling mess). I've seen bears, stingrays, elephants and baboons tangle with whale sharks, Cambodian youths, porcupines and the previously assumed extinct dodo bird.
But after 7 treacherous and arduous months watching Mother Nature's © finest creatures tear each other limb from limb, devour brain and bathe in spinal fluid, what is the most important thing I took away from the experience?
Bees.
That's right motherfuckers, bees. And not happy-go-lucky Jerry Seinfeld bees...
Not even the bee's knees or Burt's bees
Not even spelling bees or that sexy snow-haired piece of ass Bea Arthur.
Just regular old stupid ass bees.
Stay tuned idiots, I'm preparing to drop a knowledge bomb on you the size of fuckin Hiroshima.
Til I press the button that seals your fate....
Love always,
Nick
