Fuck. It actually takes the rape of young boys for Rick Santorum to no longer be the most despicable person in Pennsylvania. Congrats, Jerry Sandusky, for creating a charity for troubled male youths. I'm sure they considered not being anally violated in a shitty college's locker room to be their biggest conflict in life, so I'm glad you were able to help them work through those issues.
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| At least he didn't call it "Fisted" |
Can you believe this book is a real thing? Fucking seriously? And with that finger? Mother fucking Theresa it's like he was bragging about it. He's like the Little Prostate Exam That Could.
<insert Hershey highway joke here. Too hack to bother writing>
It is kind of refreshing to see some sexual assault not being performed by a Red Sox fan.
Remember that time that there was that one organization that covered up all those young boys being raped? There was that big backlash when that one guy was fired? The boss who oversaw it all, I think it was. What was his name... The pope. No wait, he wasn't fired. From what I can tell, sodomy is alright as long as you're using rosary beads for your sex toys.
Look, I know football is retarded, but I generally give people enough credit to realize that winning some college cunting football games is just the teeniest, tiniest skosh little bit less significant than allowing a dozen boys getting Deliveranced by a guy old enough to be Moses' fucking babysitter. 400 wins, Joe Paterno? Fuck off, man. That's only ten wins per alleged sexual assault. Come back to me when you've won at least 500. Shit, Cy Young won over 500 games, he didn't cover up any pedarasts. We better all feel lucky that dude's been dead half a century or he could go on quite the fucking tear.
All that being said, Roman Polanski is a great fucking director.
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| Speaking of people we shouldn't have been surprised about... |
