Not a duel: Gun Rant

Since there aren't enough duels in the world to conduct, and since I need to rant so much that not even the idiots in real life and professional retards I'm friends with on Facebook can satiate me, I'm going to expand the Beast Duels blog a bit.

So let's get started with...

Gun Rant

You know the NRA phrase "guns don't kill people, people kill people"?



How are the cocktards who say this not being called out on their bullshit?

People don't kill people, they can barely hurt each other for fuck's sake. When's the last time you heard of a liquor store being robbed by someone armed merely with a roundhouse? Or this headline...

In Baltimore today, more gang-related turf battles leave three gang members and two civilians dead after a drive-by Judo chopping.

If movies have taught me anything (and with the amount I've seen, how could they not), the only way to kill someone with your hands is by putting a pillow over their face for thirty seconds. I'm skeptical as to whether that shit is real though-- otherwise, I think that would mean that falling asleep on your stomach is technically attempted suicide. Aside from that, hands are just tools for pulling triggers and something about sex.

Speaking of suicide, Reason #26 I don't think I could ever be a cop: If I found a dead guy guy with a pistol in hand, gaping hole out of the back of his skull and a note that said "I'm so sick and tired of this world I'm living in", I'd definitely be the asshole to point out that moron shouldn't end sentences with prepositions.