How to Survive an Assassination Attempt

In today’s day and age of Australian internet revolutionaries, neo-robber barons and street gangs called “F**k Being Broke”, pretty much anyone can get clipped.

We here at Beast Duels believe preparedness is next to coolness.

Coolness.

So here's a handy three step guide to surviving a hit.

# 1. Don’t be a target

People get bodied for a number of reasons. Here are some of the most common.

- Engaging in what’s known as 'la vida loca'.

The crazy life.

You know what we mean. Petty scams, drug smuggling, book-making,  all the way to prostitution, armed robbery and contract killing. The higher you climb the ladder in these activities the more likely your haters will turn into determined plotters.

- Being well known

Living in the public eye has its pros and cons. One of the cons is that some people are insane, and associate you with whatever is bothering them. That can cause problems.

-Being yourself

Occasionally speaking up about something you're passionate about can land you in hot water. Or cement. Still, self – expression is a must.

Freedom of Speech.

So what to do if for some reason you can’t fulfill Step One?

# 2. Be Prepared

There's that P word again.

-Mental fitness
Do whatever works for you to maintain a calm, positive state of mind. Know yourself. Learn your own reactions. Learn what to do in the event of an attack.

-Physical fitness
You don’t need expensive equipment. Just body-weight squats, sit-ups,  push-ups, and or pull-ups every day or so. It works in the Army.

Other than that, breathe deeply, eat real food, get enough sleep, and think moderate thoughts about others.

-Alertness
Do your best to maintain awareness throughout the day. Being mindful of the present moment can increase your effectiveness and your enjoyment of life.

Sometimes even the best buckle. What to do if they catch you slippin’?

# 3. React

React now.

The key here is to stay calm and move quickly. Trust your instincts. Stay focused on the goal of staying alive. You may have to deal with various threats, including...

-Explosions

Whether caused by car bomb, drone attack or old timey hand grenade, fire and shrapnel are a major issue. Move toward safety, find cover, and protect your vital areas (fetal position works well for this). If you're lucid, check for any damage and get out of the area.

-Gun-play

Cinema and video games have fueled a lot of misconception about how gunfights work. 

Impossible to aim.

Addressing that in full is beyond the scope of this post. To get some real answers I recommend Col. Jeff Cooper and Massad Ayoob. They're two of the most respected gun writers in American history and can get you on the right track.

The basics of getting shot at are keep moving, find cover, stay calm, call for help in a safe way, get out of the area.

-Close combat
So maybe your assassin believes in doing things the old fashioned way and you find yourself in a fight to the death.

For hand to hand combat training I'd go with a grappling art. Think judo, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, or amateur wrestling. Striking can be useful. However it can also cause injury and waste time during a serious attack. Knowing how to control the human body can carry you through a lot of scrapes.

Here's Anthony Soprano from New Jersey showing us how it's done.

Being the capo of a small crime family caused him to instantly fail at Step One.

However his therapy appointments and basement work out routine have prepared him and he's alert during the attack, Step Two.

Step Three is fulfilled by his tank-like dispatching of his attackers. Notice he's always aware of where the gun is pointed and his primary goal is getting away.

So whether you're a small town gangster, seedy politician, or rogue blogger, remember these tips if you want to survive a 187 attempt.