Asian Children

Hey there. It's been a while and I kind of forget how to do this, so let's just jump right in.

So this Jon and Kate Plus 8 bullshit is really getting out of hand. I went grocery shopping tonight and every tabloid newspaper is so deeply engorged into that dumb slut's junk that they're one Kegel away from being her ninth fucking child.



I'm honestly pretty appalled by this woman. Not because she's a psycho hose beast; I mean, I've never even seen that stupid show. I'm a busy man who has better shows to spend his time on. And I could give a shit that these two are getting a divorce or that Jon banged some 19 year old co-ed on Kate's birthday. That's their fucking business.

No, what's disgusting is that this woman has had eight motherfucking children. Jesus Christ, I don't even have to think about theology anymore because I know that when I finally die and go to hell, I'm just going to that stupid house with all those whiny little critters running around.

Eight children. What the fuck. One time in little league our team won a game with 6 players on the field. She's had more kids fall out of her than I had on my fucking baseball team.

Why would you even want that many kids? Unless they're making Air fucking Jordans in the rec room there is absolutely no reason for that many Asian kids to be under the same roof.

Also, I've heard that Jon is only half Asian, but I've seen those kids and they're definitely full Asian, which can really only mean one thing: Kate cheated on Jon with a 200% Asian man. I'm pretty positive that has to mean that...



...Bruce Lee returned from the grave just to fertilize that bitch. Gangsta shit.

Either way though, I would never, ever, ever watch this show, even if there are 8 little half-Lees running around. There is pretty much only one way I would ever watch this garbage...


JON AND KATE VS. EIGHT

Yeah, that's right. Jon and Kate versus their half-bitch-half-Lee spawn in a fight to the death.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that I believe in strength in numbers. I believe in Bruce Lee. And you're right. But if you think that I really believe that 8 children could defeat two grown adults in a fight to the death than you're fucking retarded.

They're children. They cry if you tell them they can't have ice cream. I'm pretty sure they're not going to be able to kill their parents for fuck's sake.

See you soon,
NF