Man vs. Jellyfish
You all know jellyfish, right?
They look pretty harmless and lame, but supposedly they can pack a ridiculous poison. Either that or that slutty girl I met just had me piss on her for fun. Also, how do you get stung by a jellyfish when you're hanging out behind a Denny's?
Anyways. Remember the movie Sphere? That wonderful thinkpiece with Samuel L Jackson and Sharon Stone? Yeah, it was awful, but at least it had Queen Latifah getting mauled by a few hundred jellyfish.
But aside from a magical giant circle from space, that movie was mostly fiction. Can a jellyfish really kill a person?
I'm going to say yes, and here's why. How the fuck do you kill a jellyfish? At first I was thinking you could dry it out by pouring salt on it like a snail, but christ, it lives in fucking salt water. What else would you do, punch it? That'd be like punching a marshmallow. Marshmallows cannot be killed. Shit, you can even put some peeps in the microwave and they're just encouraged to fight it out.
Fuck that. I mean, some types of jellyfish are called man o' wars. Man himself isn't even named that. They just fucking one-up us in title alone.
I'm staying out of jellyfishes way. Because they might kill me and that'd suck, but the worst part would be dying at the hands of something that was named after part of a sandwich.
Later bitches,
NF
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