I'll do what I can to have batman win here, since he's awesome and Superman is pretty horrible. As a comic book crusader against criminals and all that is evil, the tales of Superman are pretty worthless. It's like talking about who the hottest girl is in your high school, and then one of your friends says "well Katrina Bowden is hotter".
Of course she is you fucking idiot. She's the space alien who is impervious to bullets of hot girls. She's so hot there's not even a point in mentioning her. And that's why Superman is so fucking boring. "Oh, the bad guys have a bunch of guns? Too bad for them, not even guns can kill me." Yeah, it's really fucking exciting to watch someone who's never in any danger. That's why I stopped watching House. I watched the whole first season of people actively seizing and hemorrhaging out their GI tracts but still no one ever died in that goddamn show.
And Superman's villains are awful. Batman has the Joker, Two-Face, The Mad-Hatter... I'll forgive them the abortion that Batman and Robin was. Who could've predicted that an Arnold Schwarzanagger film would be terrible?
Compare that to villains like Lex Luthor. The bad guy is just some billionaire mogul? Shit, in real life when some billionaire bent on capitalist domination at the expense of child labor dies, we hold iPod-light vigils for them at the mall.
We're better off siding with the rich guy instead. Look at Bruce Wayne. That dude could've sat around and slept with supermodels (maybe even Katrina Bowden?) and spent his money on shit like ten-thousand dollar shoes and gold pens. Instead he learned how to kick ass and drives a cooler car than Marty McFly.
Frankly, I know Superman would win in a fight. I don't give a fuck. A world where Superman is the coolest superhero we've got isn't a world I don't want to live in.
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