Monday, April 15, 2013

It Came From That Weird Guy's Basement


Have you ever walked out of your house and witnessed mayhem? Giant shoe prints smashed into the street. Homes partially knocked down. Your car smashed into a pancake of electronics and metal.

How had you slept through this? You marvel at the sheer panic and catastrophe as you yank your smartphone out of your pocket and pull up your favorite social networking site to see countless posts about a fifty foot tall robot destroying most of (insert town here).

The creature has since disappeared.

Come at me, bro!

Whether it’s a backyard inventor down the street, attempting to construct a machine to wash his car, do the laundry and change the channel on his TV, a psychotic engineer bent on world domination or a pervert who decided to mess around with the computer brain of his RealDoll, the danger of man-made inventions running amok and wiping man off the face of the earth is a totally realistic fear in our modern day society. In the real world, the cute, eighteen inch tall robot you see dancing on the morning news could actually end up being your taskmaster or your murderer one day. One moment you could be watching a showcase of a new robot designed to seamlessly cook, prepare and sell you a burger in under a minute, and the next you could be picking your teeth up off the floor and hear the screams of people watching the same machine carrying your girlfriend as it climbs the side of the Empire State building.



Ultimately, everything made by man does have the potential to be evil and destructive because that is the nature of man as well. Everything we have created to build and to better can be used to destroy and worsen anything around it.

Even with countless video games, movies, television shows, books and comics focusing on the extermination of the human race by out of control machines, I would assume that more of humanity is fearful of a zombie apocalypse than an all out war with machinery. I myself would say that one of those options is slightly more plausible in our current, technology driven age than the other. Rather than keeping your favorite crowbar or katana close by, I’d advise 24/7 access to a Super Soaker as a more reasonable preparation.

This guy is ready.

Of course, you could ignore this article as silly fantasy and go on with your life. But if one day you wake up to find your legs missing because your roomba ate them in your sleep, don’t come crying to me about it. You brought it all on yourself.

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