On Television

I watched part of Kill Bill (Part I) yesterday on TV.  I think it's important that I start off by pointing out that watching a movie being played on TV is like ordering a hot dog instead of steak because you don't want to go through the extra effort of adding "...medium rare".  It's just a lazy thing to do.  I'm not proud of that decision, but what was I supposed to do... watch commercials?

I changed the channel at the scene when O-Ren Ishii says this:

The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!

Of course, since it was on TV, what she actually said was

The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your <...> head. Just like this sucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the <...> time!

Really?  Really.  We can't just say fuck on TV?  I guess I can understand.  It was early on a Saturday evening.  No one wants impressionable young children channel surfing being exposed to foul language like that.  It's a responsibility of ours-- as Americans-- to protect our young ones.

Oh yeah, did I mention they didn't do anything to edit out the fucking severed head?

Jesus christ.  Enough of that.  Had to switch back to the Seinfeld commercials.  I saw an infomercial for this:

Remember this $50 coin they made out of 24 carat gold?  Neither do I, but apparently you can buy them for ten bucks on TV.  What a fucking steal. 

And by "buy them", of course I mean shoddy replicas with "COPY" written on the Native-American gentleman's head on the other side.  Classy.

The commercial ends with the claim that you should purchase this shit to "avoid disappointment and future regret".  I'm sorry, but how is buying a fake coin going to help me avoid disappointment? Does it time travel and prevent me from getting a joint bank account with my fiancee a week after we got engaged and a week before she spent more on chapstick than I'm willing to spend on a DVD?

So Kill Bill on TV and commercials both let me down.  Time to run though, I'm gonna watch Human Centipede on Turner Classic Movies.  I hope they don't do anything horrible in it like say the word shit.